Ross, Party of Three

I'm not sure quite how to start this post, so bear with me, but I'm going to jump right in.

This past Friday, Greg and I went in for an ultra-sound and found out that God took our little baby to be with Him a couple of weeks ago. We are still processing all the emotions and thoughts that come with such a shock. Because of the type of miscarriage that I've had, I'm still feeling all the pregnancy symptoms so that in and of itself makes it difficult for it really to sink that we won't be holding our much anticipated baby come February.

I can say, however, that never in our lives have we felt so cared for and loved by our friends, family, and church. Thank you to each of you who have hugged me in person or over the phone, sent an email, left a message and especially to all who are praying for us.

I don't want in anyway to sound like the person who spouts off the "right answers" just because they know that is what they should say. I have been dealing with anger, confusion, self-pity, and pretty much rest of the gamut of sinful emotions. But what the Lord has been reminding me of over the past few days is that there is no earthly joy that can come close to joy of my salvation. My life has already been defined and my joy is secure in Him.

I look forward to the day when I can hold my babies in heaven (this is actually our 2nd miscarriage) and also to the day when I can, Lord willing, hold my very own baby here on earth. Until those days come, though we don't understand why, we do know that we can trust in God's goodness and faithfulness. On Sunday we sang a song in church by Bob Kauflin that has been stuck in my head ever since:

You are worthy to be praised
With my every thought and deed
O great God of highest heav'n
Glorify Your Name through me