I'm not sure quite how to start this post, so bear with me, but I'm going to jump right in.

This past Friday, Greg and I went in for an ultra-sound and found out that God took our little baby to be with Him a couple of weeks ago. We are still processing all the emotions and thoughts that come with such a shock. Because of the type of miscarriage that I've had, I'm still feeling all the pregnancy symptoms so that in and of itself makes it difficult for it really to sink that we won't be holding our much anticipated baby come February.

I can say, however, that never in our lives have we felt so cared for and loved by our friends, family, and church. Thank you to each of you who have hugged me in person or over the phone, sent an email, left a message and especially to all who are praying for us.

I don't want in anyway to sound like the person who spouts off the "right answers" just because they know that is what they should say. I have been dealing with anger, confusion, self-pity, and pretty much rest of the gamut of sinful emotions. But what the Lord has been reminding me of over the past few days is that there is no earthly joy that can come close to joy of my salvation. My life has already been defined and my joy is secure in Him.

I look forward to the day when I can hold my babies in heaven (this is actually our 2nd miscarriage) and also to the day when I can, Lord willing, hold my very own baby here on earth. Until those days come, though we don't understand why, we do know that we can trust in God's goodness and faithfulness. On Sunday we sang a song in church by Bob Kauflin that has been stuck in my head ever since:

You are worthy to be praised
With my every thought and deed
O great God of highest heav'n
Glorify Your Name through me

Double-decker Tacos

Well, we've come to realize that our little baby is quite the picky eater . . . I've pretty much been living off of grapes recently =) And ice cold water, it has to be ice cold. But, that diet probably wouldn't last too long for Greg, so I did actually make him dinner the other night, double-decker tacos, and found that the baby likes a little Mexican food every now and then.

Double-decker Tacos

1 pound ground beef or chicken
1 pkg taco seasoning
1 box of taco shells
1 can of refried beans
1 pkg soft tacos
various taco toppings (tomatoes, cheddar cheese, lettuce and salsa are the necessities at the Ross table)

Cook your meat according to pkg directions (if using chicken, boil it for about 30 minutes and pull apart to make shredded strips, then cook exactly as you would browned ground beef). Bake hard taco shells according to pkg directions. Meanwhile, heat your beans to bubbling on the stove then turn down to low to keep warm. Stuff the hard taco shells with taco meat. Spread a layer of beans on the soft tacos (warmed in the microwave) and wrap one around each hard shell. Serve and top as you desire.

We love tacos this way because the hard tacos are bound to break right down the center with your first bite and then all the fun stuff falls out. This cleans it up a little bit plus you still get the great crunch from the hard shell.

And because you can't mention double-decker tacos without a shout out to taco town . . . :