An Update

Thank you again to all of you who have been praying for Greg and I over the past 3 weeks. We so appreciate your prayers and have needed them so intensely.

I'll leave out most of the details, but I wanted to give a quick update to those who have been following our story through our blog. When we found out 3 weeks ago that we had lost our baby, I had not yet experienced the full miscarriage. 3 weeks later, this past Sunday Greg ended up taking me into the ER for an emergency procedure because my body was losing too much blood as it was completing the process of the miscarriage. We came back home the same day and everything is going well, I just need to take it easy for the next couple of weeks as my body heals.

The whole rushing the spouse to the hospital was a new experience for Greg and I (though we've both spent our fair share of time in hospitals growing up, Greg more than I) and there are probably some aspects we would do differently if we were ever in that position again. For instance, me sitting in the car honking the horn to trying to hurry up Greg as he gathered important information wasn't really helpful . . . but now we know. *Confession* I actually knew at the time it wasn't helping anything, but I felt I needed to try anyway. And we'd grab some snacks or cash for the vending machine; "any minute now" in hospital language, we've learned, translates to any number of hours.

There was definitely a temptation to fear as the situation was unfolding at our house Sunday morning, but God was amazingly faithful to give us peace. As soon as I woke up that morning quotes from Spurgeon's Beside Still Waters were floating through my head rather than anxious thoughts about what was going on. We were able to get in touch with my family right before the church service started and had both our families and many close friends praying for us. And, this still amazes me and give me goosebumps, Leah was being prayed for at her church (over an hour away) that morning and one of the men praying for her stopped in the middle of praying for her and began praying for a "close friend of Leah's" (me!) who was experiencing a miscarriage. Leah had no idea what was going on with me that morning, but she and others were covering me with specific prayers right when I needed them most. (That's the cliff notes version)

So, that's my "quick" update. We're full of anticipation to see how the rest of this story will unfold!

I'm not sure quite how to start this post, so bear with me, but I'm going to jump right in.

This past Friday, Greg and I went in for an ultra-sound and found out that God took our little baby to be with Him a couple of weeks ago. We are still processing all the emotions and thoughts that come with such a shock. Because of the type of miscarriage that I've had, I'm still feeling all the pregnancy symptoms so that in and of itself makes it difficult for it really to sink that we won't be holding our much anticipated baby come February.

I can say, however, that never in our lives have we felt so cared for and loved by our friends, family, and church. Thank you to each of you who have hugged me in person or over the phone, sent an email, left a message and especially to all who are praying for us.

I don't want in anyway to sound like the person who spouts off the "right answers" just because they know that is what they should say. I have been dealing with anger, confusion, self-pity, and pretty much rest of the gamut of sinful emotions. But what the Lord has been reminding me of over the past few days is that there is no earthly joy that can come close to joy of my salvation. My life has already been defined and my joy is secure in Him.

I look forward to the day when I can hold my babies in heaven (this is actually our 2nd miscarriage) and also to the day when I can, Lord willing, hold my very own baby here on earth. Until those days come, though we don't understand why, we do know that we can trust in God's goodness and faithfulness. On Sunday we sang a song in church by Bob Kauflin that has been stuck in my head ever since:

You are worthy to be praised
With my every thought and deed
O great God of highest heav'n
Glorify Your Name through me

Greg and Hilary, Sitting in a Tree . . .

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

First comes love . . .

Then comes marriage . . .

Then comes the baby in the baby carriage!!